Although internet connections and communication technologies help us in finding our potential partners easily, they can also increase the risks that we are not going to encounter our perfect matches.
When we openly advertise our interest in romantic relationships, we also signal our availability to the circling social predators and narcissists. When a person senses that our guard is, in fact, down, that person can assume that we are a very easy target for use and manipulation.
One pretty effective way of manipulation potential partners would be through “love bombs” and flattery.
Love bombs may feel good unless they don’t.
In fact, the love-bombing was said to be a practice of “flooding” a person with some signs of attraction and adoration – saying flattering comments, leaving love notes on the windshield, the mirror, or kitchen table, and so on. Love bombing can be practiced in many different ways.
Everyone loves to be appreciated and loved until that love feels like being stalked.
When a person tells us just how special we are, at first, it may be intoxicating. But, when he or she uses such kind of comments to keep our focus on them or bring us back in when we started backing off, the person probably tries to manipulate us. Of course, not every person that whispers sweet things in our ears is a predator or narcissist. However, if we feel that something is not right about him or her, or about our relationship, he or she may be trying to manipulate us.
Why are narcissistic people ‘love bombs’?
Narcissistic people are best known for their abilities to manipulate, and also for their great self-love. In fact, they can use attention and flattery as the tools for building themselves up, to become a perfect partner, to gain our trust, adoration, and affection.
They usually learn through their own experiences, so that they know that when their partner sees their true nature, the relationship will be self-destructing. They struggle to have mutually satisfying and equal relationships.
How can someone be a narcissist when he or she says that they adore us?
Constant affection or daily roses definitely sounds appealing; however, when this affection’s object are we, we will think that it is more creepy instead of charming. A lot of people love relationships which unfold gradually. It is quite normal to feel excited at every touch, glance, or meeting when we start a new relationship, but when a person is trying to move the things ahead too fast simply, we can think twice.
The end goal of love bombing is to be the winner. When narcissistic people use this particular strategy, they do so in order to capture the prey before that prey becomes too wise. Narcissistic people will do everything in order to get really close to the romantic interest before the target becomes wise and bolts.
Highly narcissistic individuals, or even pathological narcissists, could see other people as an object of satisfaction. They will use us to satisfy their needs for manipulation and connection.
Manipulation or true love: How can we know?
When a person appears too good to be true, he or she probably is. When a person builds us up into something more than we know anyone could be – or that someone is gifting us in some ways which we start feeling too extravagant, and even using us to spend their time with us, whereas surreptitiously manipulating us to have small amount of time for our family and friends – these are the signs which indicate that our relationship is not balanced just like has to be.
Whenever our relationship is moving too fast – or when our partner is trying to push the things too forcefully – we have to let our partner know how we feel. When our partner wants to listen, we may think about our relationship and give it some more time in order to develop. However, when our partner doesn’t want to listen to our protestations, and simply tells excuses for his or her behavior, it is a clear sign that we will not experience freedom but manipulation if we stay together.
When we are willing to find our romantic partner, it may be exciting when we are the focus of a person we find attractive. However, we need to be careful as narcissists may have the skills to put on their masks which their targets are going to see as most attractive.
Healthy and beautiful romances happen, of course, but when we feel like we are in the middle of a tornado of attention, and it upset us then usually, we should step back or talk to our partner. When we see that we can’t change his or her behavior, so that it will better match our needs, the person will definitely be our match.
Image Credit: Shutterstock (licensed by SOS)/By frankie’s